So failure and making mistakes... are they useful for learning? I think so, and I've read a bunch of things that say grading students is actually counterproductive to learning because it doesn't allow exploration failure, growth. I am pretty much in agreement with that but apparently there are studies for both sides, and I can see the niddle point here: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/communications-matter/202001/does-failure-really-help-us-learn
(This is a very brief not academic article because I don't really want to go in depth when I have research I actually should be doing =P) Anyway, I tend to think there is value to mistakes and failures, but it makes sense that like mentioned here, only a certain amount of failure is useful and that having some (but most likely much less) testing gives a goal and expectation to aim for. Expectations are a problem all of their own, and there's optimum levels of stress and resilience wrapped up in that, but let's just say motivation perhaps to keep it general.
Recently I posted elsewhere a TEDx Talk - The Super Mario Effect - Tricking your brain into learning more - by Mark Rober. Mark Rober is a really cool ex-NASA rocket scientist now fun inventor on youtube. This video explains how you can reframe learning to keep trying and enjoying or at least keep going not really despite but because of the failures. So I think actually this is sort of that sweet spot between allowing failure and setback but keeping the goal and motivation.
Anyway, I'm just going to go ahead and talk about me, because it's all about me all the time =P and I don't want to pull out facts or research another thing right now, I just want to ramble.
So, here it is. I am completely fine at failing if I have decided I am doing this for fun, if I have no investment in winning, if I have no expectation to achieve anything, if I actively think I am bad at (and cannot be expected to be good at) whatever it is, if I'm just mucking around or if failing will actually make other people feel better. I do not feel embarrassed by doing badly or looking stupid under these conditions, I can in fact enjoy it. I find competitions stressful anyway. I don't need to be good at an activity, game or sport to enjoy it. I rarely feel embarrassed by failure or mistakes as long as I haven't seriously bought into a competition or succeeding, essentially if I can own my stupidity and failure.( Collapse )
So on the flip side you can probably see that if it's important to me and there are expectations I buy into* around something that I'm probably (or should be) good at it, or I feel I have to succeed and the stakes are high, or I'll be letting people down if I fail... then I am not ok with failing. (*expectations from myself or others that I care about the opinions of - I have very little bother about societal expectations.)
Of course, and you know this already I'm sure, it means that I'm not going to do as well, enjoy, or really excel in the things I "should" be good at or even the things I want to do. I often save myself with last minute panic and rushing to deadlines and extensions but it's "ok" because I know at that stage I'm expected to fail, so whatever I put in is a sort of victory. But it's not ok because it's never my best, and if I succeed I feel like I'm cheating, a fraud, like I don't deserve the victory, and if I fail it's going to be superhard for me to try again. I'm more likely to just change track and do something else completely. Hello to the many degrees and careers jobs of my life.
So my brain says Failure is good and helps you learn and my feels say Nooooooooooooooo. It is problematic.( Collapse )
At any rate, I don't want to fail at important things, but I do want to be ok with potential failure and growth. I would like to be more calm and productive, less procrastinating and anxious, courageous perhaps. As they always annoyingly say on Drag Race 'Show us your vulnerability' but you know when a Queen does that it's virtually guaranteed they'll be going home that episode or the next. So perhaps 'I'd like to keep the mask on please.' ;P