| A judgemental rant about being judgemental (spawned from but not entirely related to WisCon posts) |
[Jun. 14th, 2008|02:22 am] |
I am constantly bewildered by people. How insecure are we? How angry are we? How easily are we threatened? What makes us care so much about what other people do with or to themselves even when we don't know them?
If someone is fat or thin or builds their body or changes their sex or gets plastic surgery. If someone decides to pierce their body or tattoos themselves or ritually scar themselves or bites their fingernails. If someone smokes or drinks or takes drugs or has a lot of caffeine. If someone dyes their hair or wears bright pink or darkest black or dresses in dresses no matter what their gender. If someone is straight or gay or has multiple partners or decides to be celibate or likes s&m. If someone does something dangerous or risky or just out of the ordinary that might hurt or change themselves physically or emotionally. If someone does something with or to their own self... where is it my right to step in?
If I care about someone, I don't want them to do something to themselves that will hurt them or be bad for them. Sometimes I just don't want people to change. Still we all do so many things that could potentially be bad for us or change who we are. Are we going to let other people decide on our relationships, diets, religions, activities, hairstyles? And who gets to decide which way of being different is right and which is wrong? Does it help to mock any of these behaviours or conditions no matter how voluntary or involuntary they may be? If it's something we don't have a choice over, or if it's something we willingly do with or to ourselves, without harming anyone else, what business is it of anyone else's?
Honestly, I'm not actually sure anymore of where to be concerned and try to help, where to give my opinion, and where to back the hell off. It's all down to a judgement. I think perhaps we're always going to make judgements about other people. It's what we do with those judgements that matter. Mocking and praising can each be destructive. Can we ever just accept people as they are and not how they were, might be or could have been? Right here I'm being judgemental and vexed and it's damn confusing. So what do I do? As much as it confuses me or enrages me or worries me I think I just have to let people be unless they're actually affecting me. And that's a whole new problem. As much as I think someone else's personal actions affect me, I'm sure they affect that person more.
So I should respect other people's decisions? Do I succeed in this? Probably not so much. I laugh at people doing things I think are stupid. I look at people's fashion choices and think Wow, that's pretty damn hideous. I get upset and angry when people hurt themselves and I can't help. I get annoyed or even devestated when people won't see something I think is obvious. I want to protect people and chastise people and teach people and save people and just shake them until they change their minds. And all of these things are pompous and self-righteous and are in some way going to impinge on someone else's freedom to make their own decision for wrong or right.
So all I think I can do is to keep poking myself and try to remember to respect other people's rights to make their own decisions... even if I don't respect those decisions themselves. And when I don't succeed in doing this and I rant and I rail I can only hope you'll forgive me for all of these words that incessantly pour out of my brain. I promise I'll stop some day and listen.
If I care for you then I care for the person you want to be and choose to be. |
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| I just want you for your brains |
[Mar. 3rd, 2008|10:04 pm] |
Photos from the Melbourne Cup Day Zombie Walk back in November are now up on flickr. As per usual most of the peopled shots are locked so you have to friend me on flickr to see them. This one's a freebie because I'm practising being brave and all. Watch me throw caution very gently to the wind like a little wish.
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| Friends Only |
[Aug. 17th, 2007|02:15 am] |
| [ | Sights |
| | somewhere | ] |
| [ | Feeling |
| |  blank | ] |
| [ | Sounds |
| | Enjoy - Bjork | ] |
This Journal has really been friends only for a while now. Just thought I should put up a post to that effect. So if you can only see this post, and you want to see more, post a comment here and I'll most likely add you. =) |
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